literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

gravitysex:

piperonni:

I just did this to my fiancee and he laughed and said okay.

😂😂😂😭

gravitysex:

piperonni:

I just did this to my fiancee and he laughed and said okay.

😂😂😂😭

moriarty:

absentions:

And if you’re still up at 4 a.m.,

you are in love or lonely,

and I don’t know which one is worse.

im reading gay fanfic tho

petertwerk:

When your teacher makes a reference to classic rock and you’re the only student who gets it

image

king-satan-nipple:

neon-casket:

hellisbehindthehorrific:

An abandoned babydoll underwater.

this is really scary but also the doll looks like it is playing a saxaphone

talk fishy to me

king-satan-nipple:

neon-casket:

hellisbehindthehorrific:

An abandoned babydoll underwater.

this is really scary but also the doll looks like it is playing a saxaphone

talk fishy to me

lickitungrapunxel:

noddin my head like yeah 

image

movin my hips like yeah 

image

lunchbox-philosopher:

thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

I have a classmate from this state, and according to her, it’s illegal to call it “Ar-kansas” when you’re instate.

The more you know.

hisaofukayamas:

michaeltrucco:

I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT

THEY DIDNT FOLLOW THE GAME THE GAME FUCKIN FOLLOWED THEM

you-cant-take-the-sky-from-me:

thegirlwiththethornonherside:

aaaaaaawwwwww

So, that’s what Days of Future Past is about.

2ollux-captor-ii2-my-dance2tor:

useless-worthless-nobody:

azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this

SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now

Summary of Romeo and Juliet
romeo: im so sad
romeo: ill never be happy
romeo: a party sure why not ill just sulk around an- WOAH
romeo: WHO DAT
romeo: SHE GOT DA BOOTY
romeo: imma dance with her
romeo: *dancin wit teh juliet*
juliet: dafuq are you
romeo: shh *kiss*
juliet: :oo
*party over*
romeo: AYYY LOOK I FOUND DAT LADY'S HOUSE
romeo: LADY
romeo: HEY LADY
juliet: OMG HI I REMEMBER YOU
romeo: yeah its me hey wanna get married
juliet: dont you think its too soon
romeo: idk
juliet: brb
romeo: k
juliet: HEY YEAH LETS GET MARRIED TOMORROW
romeo: AWW YEAH I BET THIS PUTS ME ABOVE MERCUTIO AND BENVOLIO IN MAN POINTS
*next day*
rome and juli: FRIAR MARRY US PLEASE:
friar: idk and ROMEO WEREN'T YOU JUST SULKING OVER ROSALINE LIKE YESTERDAY
romeo: yeh
friar: ok fine ur married
rome and juli: yaaaay
*some time later*
tybalt: WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO
mercutio: excuse you dont talk bout my friend like that
tybalt: shut up mercutio *stab*
mercutio: WAAHAHAH IM DED *he die*
romeo: hnnn
tybalt: ....
romeo HNNN
tybalt: ...
romeo: hnnnHIYAAAA *stab*
tybalt: oH NO IM DED AHH *he die too*
prince: ohmygod why did i JUST tell you yesterday about fighting
romeo: i sorry
prince: no ur banished
romeo: HWWHWHHAAAT YOU BANBISHED ME
romeo: *runs to friar* IMMA KILL MYSELF*
friar: no i have plan just go to mantua ok
romeo: k *leaves*
juliet: FRIAR HELP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I KNEW FOR LIKE 1 DAY JUST GOT BANISHED IMMA KILL MYSELF
friar: NO JULIET I HAVE A PLAN you drink this potion you look dead you be put in capulet tomb until you wake up and romeo find you and you run away together
juliet: ok
juliet: *goes home and drinks potion*
nurse: hey juliet rise and shi- OOOH MY GOD LADY CAPULET COME HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
lady capulet: wha- OH NOO OH NO okay lets throw her in the tomb of dead people
nurse: k
juliet: *in da tomb* zzZzzZZzzzZ *not actually dead just sleepin*
romeo's servant: AYY YOO ROMEO I GOTS NEWS FOR YA
romeo's servant: JULIET'S DEAD
romeo: WHAT
romeo: WHAaaAaaaT
romeo: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND POISON MYSELF BEFORE LOOKING INTO THE SITUATION AT ALL OR CONTACTING THE FRIAR OR ANYTHING
romeo: *buys potion*
romeo: *breaks into the tomb of dead capulet people*
romeo: oh my god its juliet wow she doesn't even look dead
romeo: but im sure she is
romeo: *kiss juliet*
romeo: *drinks poison*
romeo: he ded
juliet: *yawning* YAWWWN oh i can't wait to see my rome- WHAT DAFUQ
juliet: IT'S ROMEO NEXT TO ME
juliet: HE DED
juliet: *grabs sword and stabs herself*
oh yeah and romeo also killed Paris in the tomb by the way forgot to add that b/c apparently killing tybalt wasn't enough
friar: *comes in cell*
friar: uh oh
prince: WHAT DIS
CAPULET: WHAT DIS
LADY CAPULET: WHAT DIS
MONTAGUE: WHAT DIS
CApULET: *strokes montagues face* brother

0bstacles:

huffingtonpost:

THIS GENIUS MACHINE FEEDS STRAY DOGS IN EXCHANGE FOR RECYCLED BOTTLES

The Turkish company Pugedon has created a vending machine that’s dispensing help for both the environment and our furry friends.

Watch the machine in action here.

this makes me so happy

kopikala:

OH MY GOD

kopikala:

OH MY GOD

me: it wont bother me.
me: *lies down*
me: it actually really bothers me. a lot. so i'm gonna think about it all night instead of sleeping.

trip-hop-cabaret-dance-punk:

you’re gonna miss me when i’m gone
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